Heartbroken

God, why can’t you break my heart anymore?

Have I hardened it that much?

I just don’t understand.

 

I remember when our hearts beat as one!

I remember when I lived your compassion,

When I felt your pain,

When I cried your tears!

Oh yes, Lord! I remember when our hearts broke as one!

Surely this change did not happen over night!

No, it happened over nights, many many nights.

Every night I chose the world over you.

Every night I decided that I didn’t need you.

Every night I felt like the cost of following you was too high.

But how could I have not noticed myself changing?

 

Lord, there is much wrong with me.

More so then I can even see, and what I see destroys me!

God, look at me! See the distress I am in!

How can I be so broken when you are in me?

Am I letting you in me at all?

My heart has become someone else’s, Lord.

Oh please, Lord, take it back!

 

Destroy me!

Break me down!

Bring me back to where I once was!

God, please!

 

I want my heart to break for the things that break yours!

Lord, I want my every heart beat to drive me towards your love!

 

Make me aware of where I have fallen from you!

Show me the way, Lord!

Mold me so that I am more like you than ever before!

Show me the depths of your love that I never fathomed existed!

 

I give my heart to you, again, Lord.

Break it.

Make it yours.

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